In high school—where there were six to seven classes a day, the same lunch breaks, and seemingly endless afterschool extracurricular activities—your friends were always there. You see them every day, in every single class (because you and your friends would register into the same classes) and in every single club (I mean, friends like all the same stuff you do). After a month into the semester, you probably got sick of all the time you spent together.

For me, my group of friends consisted mainly of the people who came with me from my middle school. Because of this, there were always a few people who I never really clicked with. They were just in our group because they came from the same school, and were acquaintances with us. Of course, any awkwardness of these relationships would cause drama, which would fuel gossip for the rest of the month. Adding to this was the difficulty in making new friends because I already had a solid group of friends.

Plus, when you’re in high school, you’re not old enough to consume alcohol at a bar or dance at a club, and there are all these other restrictions that come with being a teenager. Without being able to legally participate in a lot of other activities, there isn’t much to do with your friends in high school except those activities somewhat related to school, such as sports or art. In addition, there aren’t many outlets to make friends outside of school either – unless you play a sport or travel consistently.

Now—in college—there are more opportunities to make friends. A new friend could be the guy in your class who always ends up being your partner since you don’t know anyone else—or the girl just down the hall. This time, your friends may actually be people you actually can interact with. Ideally, you’ll be able to make friends with whoever you want – without thinking about which clique you fall into.

In college, you have stronger friendships because they’re you’re friends with people in seminal situations (like trying to figure out what to do with their life, relationships, finances, etc). You can become closer to friends in college because you’re closer to their living environment. However, sometimes, having different majors and workloads can push them away.

Junior Jon Schmidt admits, “I am so busy that I really don’t make enough time to go spend time with [college friends] outside of studying for class - as such, I haven’t been able to form the same type of relationships with people here as I was able to back home.”

When I came into college, I didn’t know many people, and the people I did, I barely knew. By getting the chance to live in Southwest Hall, a residence hall that catered to freshmen, I was able to meet tons of different people from different majors. I was able to see deeper into their personality by stepping into their rooms and by seeing them interact with lifechanging decisions.

In addition, I was able to hang out more with the opposite sex (boys) without being judged by my girlfriends that every guy I met was a possible love interest. I am open to hanging out with my friends who have similar or different majors than I do, and with both, I try not to worry or rant about schoolwork, which can dilute a good friendship.

In any case, I still keep in touch with a lot of my friends from high school. Although they don’t know me as well as my college friends do, they are still considered some of the best friends I have.

“I still talk to people from high school on a fairly regular basis, more than I do with those here at school,” agreed Schmidt.

What is most important in keeping up friendships from high school is for consistent communication and understanding. For some, keeping good friendships can be tough.

“I feel like I know who my true friends are now. They’re the ones I try my best to keep in touch with, and they ones who actually try to keep in touch with you. I’ve had friends just tell me [they’ve missed me] and not do anything about it, and that really sucks. You learn who’s worth your time in the end,” said freshman Celena Tan.

Making friends is easy, but keeping friends is not as easy. Friendships are just like romantic relationships in that they require a lot of work. Don’t give up too early into a seemingly cold friendship and always remember that it takes two to keep a friendship going.

Published in : Perspectives, Volume 101: Issue 31