What’s in a kiss?
Kissing, also referred to as lip locking, tonsil hockey, smooches, necking or besos, are considered the first move in any relationship. It’s that first step into getting to know someone intimately. Though it can lead to more sexual activities, kissing is not something to be overlooked. Look at kissing in terms of building a house: You might have the blueprints laid out, but you have to lay a foundation first (right on the lips!).
A study at Oxford University examined the importance of kissing both in relationships and out, resulting in some “good to know” facts. They considered roughly 900 people through a series of questionnaires, interviews and simulations to gather their information. Categories were created in order to pigeonhole information: kissing before sex, during and after. The results differed for those in casual relationships and those in committed ones.
Let’s start with the single-and-ready-to-mingle folks. In casual relationships, kissing serves as a Sorting Hat (if we want to get “Harry Potter” with it). When evaluating a mate, the initial kiss allows a person to assess one’s compatibility with another. An interesting fact that may not have crossed an eager star-crossed lover’s mind is smell. You read that right: You take a whiff without even realizing it! Call it animal instinct, or attraction by pheromones, but the action occurs and can allow you to round the bases or get thrown in the dugout. On the study rating, casual kissers put the most emphasis on kissing before sex, and the least amount on the time after.
Now take that casual mouth-to-mouth months into the future, and our hypothetical couple is now in a committed relationship. Kissing takes on a whole new meaning while in a relationship. According to Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey, a sexuality and relationship expert, casual pecks provide positive short- and long-term effects in the body.
To be specific, laying a big smooch on someone releases oxytocin in the brain, which causes a sense of bonding or feeling of connection. Consider it an upkeep tool not meant to create more sexual activity, but instead to maintain an emotional bond and a sense of sexual attraction. Giving your mate random kisses or the occasional PDA aids in the affirmation that there is still attraction between you and your partner. Author of the book “The Art of Kissing,” Michael Christian points out that the more a couple kisses, the more they will be open and communicate with each other. On the study scale in contrast with casual kissers, committed couples found that the most important times for kisses was after sex, which emphasized on frequency of kisses.
Now… Sounds like a like of pressure, doesn’t it? Not to fear! Become an excellent kisser! Or, brush up on your skills with these tips. Christian outlined the essentials for a first impression as well as long-term kissing champions. During your first encounter, don’t rush! Let the moment take you and your potential partner where it is meant to go. Don’t force the kiss, or try to get technical within seconds. That’s a turn off. Kissing is a rhythmic sport — look at it in oceanic movements. There is the slow pulling back of the waves that build up to crashing on the sand (where the sand is your kissing partner’s lips). A kiss can be taken as a preview to how you are going to be sexually, but that does not mean using your tongue like another bodily organ. WebMD studies found that an overly aggressive tongue kiss is a big turn-off.
Once you’ve become acquainted, make sure to mix it up. Nothing is more boring than a routine kiss. Christian suggests adding variety to your make-out session by touching other parts of the body lightly, such as the back of the neck; try tracing down the lower back or nibbling gently on an earlobe for some extra spice. Even kissing those parts will add to a steamier make-out session, as well as build and maintain intimacy in long-term relationships.
Whether you are into casual lip locks or committed to one kisser, make sure to enjoy yourself!
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