Love is a language
Last semester, during a conversation about my boyfriend, Professor Bathurst said, “You probably just have a different love language than he does. Have you done the quiz?” When I stared at her blankly in response, she happily told me to go look it up, and I did.
The Five Love Languages, first theorized in a 1995 book by Dr. Gary Chapman, are: 1. Words of Affirmation, 2. Acts of Service, 3. Receiving Gifts, 4. Quality Time and 5. Physical Touch.
The website, 5lovelanguages.com, has several quizzes, so you can figure out your love language whether you are currently single or in a relationship, or figure out the love language of your child.
For me, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts are the most important, whether I took the single quiz or the relationship one. Of course, my boyfriend’s top two are physical touch and words of affirmation. Now that we know this, we try to cater to each other’s wants so that we both feel loved in the way we need.
How does this work in your day-to-day relationships?
If you are aware of someone’s love language, you are able to satisfy his or her emotional needs more directly. For example, if actions speak louder than words for someone, you can do something sweet for them and they will know how much you care. Or if giving gifts isn’t as important to them, maybe just a few thoughtful words will really make them happy. Maybe quality time is all that person needs to feel appreciated.
Even if you just want to get on better ground with your professors, you can use this to experiment in improving all your relationships — from being closer with your friends, to making your family happy. And they don’t need to take this test; you can just try giving them a gift or doing the dishes for them and see what makes them most appreciative. Armed with manipulative kindness, I set you free upon campus to make everyone’s day better in the way that is just right for them.
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